Rabu, 23 Juli 2014

22.02 - No comments

Enam Dikali Tujuh

        Kemarin salah satu keluarga gue datang kerumah dari Kalimantan, sebutlah dia Om, saudara Emmak gue. Jadi Om gue ini nyapa seraya pegang kedua pundak gue kayak ngeliat baju ditoko, diperatiin cakep atau sebaliknya.
“hei, Dede(nama unyu2 gue waktu kecil), waduh udah besar ya, mana cakep (gue tambahin kata cakep biar lebih serek hati gue), gimana? Masih nakal aja kamu” katanya si Om sambil mau meluk-meluk dengan muka bersahaja tapi gue langsung ngindar takut dikirain homo. Sori Om gue orangnya rada Parno sama yang gituan. Trus gue jawab
“ahh apa sih ini Om, datang datang bilangnya nakal nakal aja, emang nggak ada yang lain gitu, lebih pinter kek”  sambil gue persilahkan duduk
“okeh, enam dikali tujuh sama dengan berapa?”
“enam dikali tujuh ya Om?”
“iya enam dikali tujuh”
“Eenaaaaam dikali tujuh , yakin nih Om enam dikali tujuh?”
“iyya yakin enam dikali tujuh”
“beneran enam dikali tujuh bukan Enam dikali satu?”
“iyya beneran enam dikali tujuh, udah cepet berapa hasilnya?”
“yaa siapa tau aja kan Om salah nyebutnya, tapi beneran nih Om enam dikali tujuh?
”…….” Om gue diem.
“OKKEH..OKKEH ENAM DIKALI TUJUH (dengan muka yakin) ENAM DIKALI TUJUH…ENNnam dikali tuuujuuuuh..”
*10 menit kemudian*
“Eh Om mau minum apa? Jus? Teh? Kopi? Ah kopi? Okeh tunggu ya Om ya sekejep” tanpa menunggu jawaban, gue langsung tancep gas bikin kopi. Gue harus menerapkan metode pengalihan isu.
*5 menit kemudian*
“ini nih Om kopinya diminum” kupersilahkan si Omnya minum, tak lama diseruput lah kopi panasnya
“ srupppppt ahh…. Ennaaam diii…”
“WAAAAAAA.. gimana kabar keluarga dirumah Om? Rani..Rani katanya udah mau nikah ya Om? Si Susi juga udah mau masuk SMA kan Om? Waah mereka udah besar ya Om padahal dulu masih keccil.. wuuhhuhhuhu”  gue yakin muka gue waktu itu sok asik banget.
“ENAMDIKALITUJUH” Om gue balap
“wahahahaha ngomong apa sih ini Om (tiba-tiba lupa ingatan) oh iya om, tadi kok ngomongnya s              saya nakal, emang gimana sih nakalnya Om,sering ngegombal ya?” kata gue dengan mata yang haus akan informasi meskipun dibuat-buat demi hal pengalihan isu.
“kamu tuh De’ lebih dari ngegombal, Om masih inget kamu suka tepuk pantat cewe-cewe, malah nggak pandang bulu..”
“he? Pandang bulu juga? Om ini ceritanya ngawur” kata gue potong.
“bukan pandang bulu itu semprul, maksudnya nggak milih-milih, tepuk cewe, tepuk ibu-ibu, tepuk tante-tante, tepuk nenek-nenek”
“nenek-nenek juga Om?” kata gue heran, nggak nyangka mesum waktu kecil gue terbilang expert, diem-diem gue bangga, pantesan aja gue ngerasa memiliki keterampilan itu sampai sekarang.
“bukan cuman itu, kamu itu suka banget joget”  katanya lanjut dengan mimik  yang seolah-olah gue itu menjijikan.
“emang apa salahnya kalo suka joget Om, ya kalo tepuk pantat sih masuk itungan” kata gue nggak terima.
“iya De’, tapi kalo joget diatas meja makan terus nggak pake celana?”
“waaaah itu sih bukan saya Om, anak tetangga kali tuh” masa iya sih itu gue, kalaupun iya bakat itu pasti kerasa sampe sekarang kan, tapi nyatanya kagak ada. Mungkin gue abis dihipnotis untuk menghilangkan kenangan itu.
“bukan! itu kamu, ingat sekali Om, waktu itu acara pernikahan”
“pernikahan?” kata gue terheran-heran, apapula dengan pernikahan.
“Iya , yang terparah kamu joget diatas meja makan waktu acara pernikahan, kamu bayangin berapa orang yang disana yang menyaksikan kamu joget gak pake celana”
*terbayang*
Gue hayati dalam-dalam bayang-bayang itu..banyak orang, gue joget dengan senangnya nan terkekeh-kekeh, nggak pake celana lalu pandangan semua orang tertuju padaku, mereka tertawa dan menyemangati supaya jogetnya lebih erotis.
“Om siapa ya? Saya dimana? Nama saya siapa?  Kita ngobrolin apa?” kemudian pandangan gue kosong menatap sekitar.
“kita ngobrolin kamu joget di atas meja makan saat acara pernikahan” Om gue celetuk.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NGGAKNGGAKNGGAKNGGAK.. BUNUH..BUNUH SAYA OM BUNUUUUHHHHHH, PISAU? PISAU MANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA? (gue sesenggukan meringis dalam tangis) bunnuuuh saya saja Om, bunnuuuh” ini seolah-olah kehormatan gue telah direnggut dengan paksa terus nggak terima dengan kenyataan bahwa gue kotor sekarang.
“Yaoloooh, tidak apa-apa, waktu itu kan kamu masih kecil jadi wajarlah” kata Om gue mencoba menenangkan sambil cengar-cengir.
“NGGAAAAAK!! nggak Om, percakapan ini nggak pernah terjadi, dan saya nggak tau apa-apa soal tepuk joget atau apalah itu okeeeeeh?, okeeee” gue yang mencoba menenangkan diri, iyalah masa gue se erotis itu, masih keccil pula gimana besarnya.
“iyaudah kita ngobrolin enam kali tujuh aja”
“………..”

Senin, 17 Maret 2014

04.50 - No comments

have you ever felt....




       Have you ever felt your nightmare becomes true? Something that you never imagine before but it happens to you. It’s worst to imagine it.. bad..  such a thought terrifies you. No matter how hard you try to tell yourself this is just a dream and when you wake up, it will be gone, then you realize……. It’s still happening.
       It was night about 7.30 pm, my friends came closer to me, they were Ulfah and Dian, as usual I said,
“Hai, what’s down earth?” with smiled of course and they just stared at me a while, they looked at me like “Ohh you are really pathetic”, feeling like that, I said
“What’s wrong?”, after heard my question, they just looked at each other with long deep breath and realized there must be something.
“Okay, now you make me scary” *means really scary.
“Bad news for you” they said that together in very slow voices
“Bad news, what?” I didn’t know exactly, maybe they could hear my heart beat.
“You’re being threatened” Ulfah said and Dian just stared at me, I didn’t know what was that about.
“Threatened? About what?”
“You’re not.. ”
“Yeah? I’m not?”
“You’re not allowed to join P2k this year”
Please underline the sentence, I call it nightmare.
I was shock, but I tried not to show it to them, then I said “Really? Is that true? You’re not joking around, right? hehe... okay, I give up, that was funny joke” looked them quitest, then I realized, they were serious, I could see their face. But once again, I tried not to show my feeling, and I just gave them a tough smile, but little bit weird. It was just, I’m a simple person who hides a thousand feelings behind the happiest smile.
       I was not in the classroom that time, I ran away from crowd, looked my friends had happy time in the class made me sad, stared them at the distance and thinking “I’m alone” then the pictures of memory pop up into my mind randomly about my PPL project, it is a time being a teacher in school like 2 months for teaching and at the second months, we have to make a report about what we’ve done in the classroom, yes that time, the report, the damn report. It was all about that PPL report. I admit it that was my own fault, I counterfeited my guide lecturer’s signature, all of the columns signature, yes all of the columns. When I went to the classroom I met with Ridho, “Hey Isal, you know, there is a news spread among students” he said and I just gave a respon like really, “There are people who can’t join P2K this year because they counterfeit signature of their guide lecturer” I heard him with calm face and said easily “really? that’s good” (WTF, WHY DID I SAY THAT, THERE’S NO GOOD IN THERE)
       The question is “why?, I was confuse to answer it, why did I dare enough to do something like that? Then I found it in loneliness, It was about, I was sick of waiting my guide lecturer. More like 4 days waited his signature, but it was not about the waiting, during the 4 days, he delayed almost oath meeting or canceled it. The most annoyed moment when he made a promise to meet me at 02.00 pm in front of his office about to sign my PPL report, then I was waiting him like more 4 hours, until I realized, there was no sign about him, then I decided to check him in his room, but I just found his friend in there and his friend said that he was not here anyway and I just said to his friend “That..is..cool, I’m here like 5 hours for waiting him” if I had a A.K 47 at that time, I would bang everyone around me and shout “YEAAAAH THIS IS AWESOME TIME”. Unfortunately I did that twice about waiting him.
       I was my limit then I decided to counterfeit my guide lecturer’s signature. 2 months passed and the bad news comes to say hello to me, there is no way except admit it in front my damn guide lecturer’s face like a horse “hiiiiiik”. I tried to be patient about whatever the end, I would accept it like that is ok, then the time came to force me enter the room of my guide lecturer, I walked heavily to him, closer, closer and closer then finally sat in front of him.
“What?” he said careless face
“Sir, I don’t know which part I have to start but please” then I gave him a piece of paper which I have written before about asking forgiveness and about the counterfeit, he have to sign my paper, that was the only condition to fulfill so I can join P2K this year.
“What is this?” he asked me but I was just silent because too nervous then he continued to read the letter “counterfeit? You counterfeit my signature, how dare you did that!” heard that statement, I knew already he won’t sign my paper, okay and I just went out his room with sad face, you know I went again in his room 1 hour later but he keep avoided to sign my paper. The other way I really thanked to him because he didn’t report about the counterfeit signature to police, I won’t imagine it.
       I’m not alone anyway, Allah SWT is always with me, gave me other way in magic seasoning, almost I can’t believe it, Prodi let me to join P2K after waiting several days with one condition I should never try to counterfeit anything again, of course I won’t do that.
       “NEVER GIVE UP. GREAT THINGS TAKE TIME”.

Rabu, 15 Januari 2014

14.56 - No comments

"hai"



“ hai,?” lama gue pandangi lamat-lamat kata itu, setelah gue kirim di line chat setengah jam yang lalu, sambil menduga-duga balasan apa yang akan tertulis dilayar handphone gue nanti, berharap ada yang berubah dalam kehidupan gue, jika ada yang sekedar mau jadi pasangan diri ini, hiks. tapi lama menunggu dongo sampai nggak terhitung lagi sudah berapa kali gue berguling sana sini dikamar yang mengatup segala tentang diri gue, tapi tak kunjung ada barisan kata-kata disana, jangankan barisan, satu kata aja nggak ada, titik pun nggak ada, kenapa? Padahal jelas disana ada tanda kalau dia lagi online, mungkin dia nggak menyadarinya, lalu gue kirim satu kata yang sama untuk kesekian kalinya, genap sudah empat kata yang sama berderet meminta perhatian dan balasan, tapi tetap saja nggak ada respon, maka dimulailah gambaran-gambaran aneh tentang diri gue, sekelumit pendapat-pendapat yang seakan dipaksa masuk didalam otak dan meminta untuk dibenarkan, apa foto profil gue kurang greget? Prasaan bagus, pose senyum merekah  dengan bibir sok dikerut-kerutin, jujur pose itu susah banget, butuh 2 jam gue bercermin, cocok-cocokin bibir, sumpah itu sudah mirip kayak orang stroke, kurang busa-busanya doang. Tuh pose juga update banget, nggak ada yang salah.  Apa karena gue jelek?, gue nggak jelek tuh, cuman kurang cakep aja. Iya kan?
Jleb, sakitnya minta ampun, Cuma karena kata hai yang tidak dibalas-balas, gue mencap diri sendiri kurang cakep? Iya sih, kurang cakep. Apalagi coba alasannya chat tidak dibalas, ke toilet? Lagi buat apa di toilet setengah jam lebih? Bersihin toilet? Mungkin juga sih iya, tapi kemungkinannya kecil, lagian tadi pas aku cek, dia update status di timeline 5 menit yang lalu. Atau lagi makan? Apasih susahnya mengetik sekedar tiga huruf sebagai pelipur perasaan yang menunggu ini.
Nggak enak, lalu kenapa gue harus berada dalam situasi ini?  Bebal menunggu lama gue tinggal aja chat tak berbalas itu, perlu seribu alasan untuk meninggalkan kisah hai itu. Gue bosen dan beranjak pergi dari kasur sekedar nyari minum, haus dari tadi nunggu nggak minum-minum, ambil segelas air trus balik lagi ke kamar, lalu gue tenggak minuman ditangan sambil liat handphone “PFRUUUUUFFFT…..apa nih?” layar hanphone gue basah kuyup, tp bodo ah, tak disangka chat gue berbalas, ada kata, “hai jg” huaaah senengnya, tapi kok males amat ngetiknya ya?, sudah lah yang penting dibalas, kalo ada respon mah bisa lanjut lagi nih. Guling sana guling sini..
gue: “gue suka kamu nih” koplak banget, baru chat dibalas “hai jg” udah bilang suka sama dia.. efek kesenengan nih, plus kepedean,
dia: “haha” itu doang? Haha?, gue juga bisa bilang haha sampai muntah-muntah
gue: seriusan nih
dia: “terima kasih” ini dia gila apa blo’on sih, gue kan nggak ngasi apa-apa, lah bilang terima kasih, dari sini gue mulai ragu sama dia, selingan itu gue buka profilnya, liat status-status sebelumnya, gue hayati satu demi satu, satu demi…satu, nih anak rada galau juga ya, sedih amat hidupnya, frustasi semua, tapi okelah, untuk itulah gue ada buat elo beibeh, akan ku warnai kehidupan-kehidupanmu dengan… dengan? Dengan apa ya.. dengan kesedihan-kesedihan lainnya.
       Gue chat lagi, takut dia nunggu lama.
Gue: “sebenernya, gue udah suka sama loe sejak pandangan pertama, lewat foto profil.. seriusan deh, loe cantik”.
Dia: “oh, ya?” sedih banget, gue nulis panjang-panjang, dia pendek-pendek, maunya apasih. Jutek amat, emang setiap cewek cantik gituh ya, serasa dunia bertekuk lutut dihadapannya, itu kampret banget.
Emosi. Gue buka profilnya lagi, ada foto profil kecil yang nyempil di sudut kiri sana, cantik sih, tapi seumur-umur gue belom pernah perbesar foto profilnya liat jelas mukanya gimana, dan gue “klik”

*hening*

“ohhh… ampun..ampun, ampuuun..ampuuuuuun sumpah, tulungin gue, auh..auh, mata gue sakit, ini gimana cara closenya, perih tuhan, mataku perih” gue terdiam dikamar setelah ngelempar hape kesisi lain kasur, gue bingung, pandangan gue kosong kelangit-langit kamar, inikah? Inikah yang disebut “jatuh cinta pada foto profile pertama, dan muntah pada zoom kedua”.

Langganan: Komentar (Atom)